How different is love from lust?

 　　Eileen Chang said, "A woman's whole life revolves around men—the men she thinks about, the men she loves, and the men she resents!" This statement certainly carries a hint of melancholy. A woman's life involves navigating the trials of love, mother-in-law, and childbirth—all ultimately related to men.

　　Very few girls can truly see through the complexities of love, and even fewer practice asceticism. Simply maintaining purity and inner peace makes all trials easier.

　　Therefore, this article is written for young women who have strayed from the right path, or for women past their prime who continue to stumble over men and affairs. Don't use love to mask desire. To love

　　without reservation—with money, emotions, and body—is called obsession.

　　This is the story of a young girl, A.

　　The doctor watched as young faces, filled with despair, lined up for abortions, one after another, watching a life end because of premarital sex. One of them was A. A's parents had neglected her upbringing, and now that she was older, they couldn't get close to her. A always felt her boyfriend was the only one who truly loved her. During an argument, A said, "I'd do anything for him. You didn't care before, so what are you doing here now?" She threatened to sever ties with her parents.

　　Her boyfriend waited in the corner until her parents left before daring to help her.

　　The doctor saw her a second time; she was several months pregnant again. This time, her boyfriend wasn't with her. It turned out the child belonged to a boss more than twenty years her senior. Her parents had cut off her financial support, threatening her to leave her boyfriend. She had been kept by a sugar daddy for money, and her boyfriend knew, but still claimed he would love her.

　　The boss said that as long as she didn't demand a higher position or have children, money was negotiable. Although A was very careful, she still miscarried five times in three years, each time extorting 30,000 to 50,000 yuan in compensation, which she then used to have abortions with the same doctor.

　　Her boyfriend is becoming increasingly distant, spending her money on video games with several other girlfriends in the game. A is indignant, but he shuts her up with the question, "Who else would want you but me?"

　　Due to multiple miscarriages and excessive indulgence, A is physically weak, frequently ill, and despairing about the future. She falls behind in her university studies and doesn't even graduate. Before graduation, her former boss has already found a younger girlfriend, and her boyfriend wants to dump her.

　　A ends up working for a mediocre company, doing a mediocre job, but to avenge the hurt inflicted by her two previous boyfriends, she continues to have affairs with different men—bosses, colleagues, online acquaintances. Promotion is impossible at the company; her reputation is ruined… In

　　her thirties, A's body looks like someone in their fifties—pale and thin, only able to conceal her aging appearance with makeup…

　　The doctor doesn't know what happened next. A left the city, perhaps to reconcile with her parents.

　　A is representative of many; her boyfriend is just an ordinary boy, but in her mind, he's idealized as innocent and harmless—"He loves me deeply, but he just can't help it." She unconsciously projects herself into various romantic fantasies, seeing her domineering parents as an evil force preventing their love.

　　Lust is complex; it's not merely a physiological desire, a mark of growth, an escape from the search, or a self-indulgence. It also carries negative emotions like confusion, helplessness, and failure.

　　Even in *Dream of the Red Chamber*, the author doesn't entirely condone Jia Baoyu's fantasies. A beautiful fantasy ultimately returns to "a vast expanse of pure white." Why pay the price with one's life for it?

　　How different are love and lust? The older one is, the more they understand that they are actually quite similar. In true love, restraint is more important than indulgence; the struggles of life are more important than the warmth of a warm bed; the career and economic pursuits you disliked in your youth are more important than romantic love; discussing the solid material shell of marriage is more important than the love within it.

　　You may have disliked Xue Baochai for talking about career and economics in your youth, but in old age, you'll acknowledge her as a pure and noble mountain spirit. The boundless sea of ​​love and hate is no different from the sea of ​​lust. Whether one indulges in aesthetic fantasies or vulgar obscenity, one is in a state of inverted dreams, destined for a life full of hardships.