Late at night

     The night is deep. I sit alone before the computer, browsing each article, reading each emotional passage. An unprecedented peace fills my heart. As I lightly tap each note on the keyboard, my mind is completely blank, for some reason. All sorrow has vanished in this moment. I don't understand if this brief peace will be the prelude to tomorrow's outburst. I'm drinking alcohol alone, not intentionally. I just want a little bit of intoxication, for no reason other than that little bit of drunkenness. "Drawing a knife to cut water, the water still flows; using wine to drown sorrows, sorrow only deepens. If this life is not as I wish, I will leave the mortal world and never look back." I can no longer remember which poet wrote this masterpiece? Or was it just a limerick from my youth? Yet, years later, it's being brought up again. Is it a memory of the past? Or a reflection on reality? At this moment, I can no longer discern its true meaning. Perhaps it's just a fleeting "emotion," a fleeting "meaning." I long, so long, to write down all the thoughts in my heart in this quiet of the night. But he was like a tangled mess, unsure where to begin. He wrote of the past, of the present, of the future. He wrote of joy, of sorrow, of dreams... ... Everything, at this moment, he only wanted to express without reservation. Only his mind was blank. The night was deep. Yet, he felt no sleepiness whatsoever. The night was deep. Alone, he narrated his own story. The night was deep. Yet, he couldn't contain his myriad thoughts. He wanted to face all of reality, to face everything. Life isn't about facing reality, about facing everything. It's about accepting reality, accepting everything. And bravely facing and accepting it. There's no turning back. On this small keyboard, he edited haphazardly. He didn't know what it was, didn't know why. Perhaps it was just a hidden consciousness, or perhaps it was a release of pent-up emotions. A way of expressing himself through words. Was he lonely? He had many friends. Was he happy? Yet, he had no one to truly confide in. Was it that others didn't understand, or that his heart was too heavy? Face life with positivity every day, and live happily every day. Actually, I'm quite joyful, only occasionally experiencing sadness. Decades pass in the blink of an eye; joy and sorrow are all in our own hands. Time flies, life is swift; face life with a smile and all you'll find is joy.

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