Watching my thoughts churn
My thoughts are a jumbled mess, I haven't drunk any wine to drown my sorrows, my heart is a tangled mess with nowhere to untangle it, and leisurely pursuits seem out of place. I'm already 28, an age where my heart seems to still be young, but my body is already heading towards middle age. Milk tea doesn't taste good anymore, and I've lost interest in many things. Life has become very bland, like plain water, truly tasteless. It seems I'm no longer that passionate young man, and the vitality of youth seems to become a mere symbol when judged. It seems even language can't express myself freely anymore. It turns out that youthful exuberance is real; it's not that youth is gone, but at 28, youth can't withstand scrutiny. The pursuit of material desires is seen as a source of respect at this age. It seems that living like a young person would mean losing dignity and recognition, but people need recognition and dignity. Youth is unbridled; I know I'm good, and I don't care if I'm not. In middle age, if someone criticizes me, I'll really get angry. Perhaps as we get older, we become less able to handle other people's opinions of us. But when we were young, we told ourselves that it was nothing. Now we seem so fragile. What caused us to become like this? Is it time, or have we forgotten who we were when we were young?
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